Create More Space in Our Lives through Digital Detox

I have to admit- I am an internet addict.

Symptoms:

I recognize that I was checking my emails around the clock, and had the tendency to click on something or anything frantically, while knowing very well that I was wasting precious time. I would facebook-creep on people on my list and even random strangers. Another way to waste time, but I would rather call it "appreciation for photography and others' lives." It is like reading the tabloids on people that I actually know personally. Sometimes the random clicking and the facebook creeping are performed simultaneously. Addictive yet so not necessary.

Even during my travels, I have spent a lot of money on internet access in order to feel a connection to home. Interestingly enough, I would still be able to go online in some of the most remote places where accessibility by roads are not available or the closest city would be nowhere to be seen.

Causes:

The main platforms that I am most concerned with these days are facebook and instant messages. The need of virtual connection started off from ICQ, then to other ones such as MSN Messenger, Skype and  Facebook. I usually had the latter ones on most of the time just for the sake of it, even when I was not around the computer. Perhaps that need of connection comes from a sense of comfort and power to have my friends in the palm of my hand, or an old habit that I have gotten just a little too attached and used to. It has became to be a substitute for catching up instead of telephone or email, which can also be time consuming.

Remedy- Digital Detox:

Cut off. Eliminate. The thought of cutting technology off gave me a strong reaction in my body. Deleting my account would be absurd. Okay, baby steps. Start with some gentle cleansing actions first!






1. Turn chat status to invisible. That way, people cannot send me instant messages but I can still see who are all there. I can still peek every now and then. Eventually, I might work my way up to not having these programs open at all.

2. Do a spring cleaning of contact list on facebook. I had about 500 friends which 200 have been deleted! That is almost half. It was not easy to start deleting, but once the clicking starts, it got much easier (maybe it is the addiction of random clicking?). It was also tough deleting people whom I have met from traveling. Knowing that I might not see them again in my life, cutting cords from facebook means an absolute clean chop. Do I or should I care about these people's lives? It is time to let go of the past and create more space for people who do matter to me now.

Here are some of the criterias that helped me with my decision on who cannot make the cut:

• If I were to see them on the street, I would pretend I didn't see them and walk away fast.
• People who date back to highschool whom I do not talk to anymore.
• People who are not in alignment or have nothing in common with me anymore.
• People from the younger party scene days.
• People who reside in other parts of the world whom I probably would not contact even if I visit their cities.
• Shady or negative people.

The keepers:

• People who I still talk to currently or would like to connect with again at some point.
• People who have similar interests, eg. art, bodywork, spirituality, etc., who might be able to provide useful resources on events and information.
• People who I have just met. I should at least give them a chance until the next clean up.
• People from work.
• People I have met residing in different parts of the world, who I would like to meet again and possibly provide assistance in my traveling.
• People who I get a good vibe from or are genuinely nice.

It actually doesn't effing matter after all. A lot of them probably did not notice I was gone because I do not post like a marketing spammer. If we were meant to connect again, life would bring them to me and I can add them as friends online again. What if they got upset? I could be honest about my regular contact clean up and intention. If necessary, I would just say that it was an accident.

The Result:

I did not care too much for the loss of 200 facebook friends, and no one from there has noticed and contacted me yet.

The other day, I had to send a message to some people on my list. I found that it was much easier to navigate the downsized list.

I feel a little more comfortable with wall postings for some reason.

The Annual Big Day:

It was my birthday recently. I was secretly anticipating to see the wishes from my social media friends, which over 50 of them ended up leaving messages on my wall! I must say it was quite a turn out for a list of 300 people, considering some people do not use it on a regular basis or are just not exactly that close to me. It was a warming feeling to know that I have not been forgotten by people who live in different parts of the world, who also have not been in touch with me for awhile.

I have done a lot of birthday celebration with my friends and family in the past week. However, it was very quiet on my actual birthday. The only person I have seen was my co worker since I had to work on that day. I went home to start packing for my trip to Cali the next day so I didn't plan anything. So, I had over 50 facebook wishes, around 5 phone text wishes, and one birthday wish phone call. Wow, we have became so technologically inclined! I told my friend who called me that it was so nice to hear a human voice on my birthday. Learning from this, I will try to make an effort in creating more human and organic interactions with others on special occasions in the future. Doing things the old school way does make a difference!

Other thoughts:

Honestly, after some time, I still feel that I am addicted to the need to facebook peek. At least I turn my chat to "off" much more than I used to. Facebook can be a great tool to inform and empower others, which I much prefer over BS-ing with friends. Not that we don't need a little bit of fun BS-ing in our lives but everything needs moderation. It is important for me to consciously remind myself to not get into internet cruise control in order to stick to the digital diet plan.

Just like training my monkey mind, I shall use social media wisely as a tool instead of having it controlling me.